Better After-Death Communication
Wishing you could connect with someone beyond our world? Somtimes you can.

Modern Woman - October, 1999 - By Leslee Mason and Pierre Pelletier

There'll come a time when we won't be able to pick up the telephone and hear mom asking if we're eating enough vegetables or dad discussing last night's ball game. Like birth and taxes, death has a way of tapping on everyone's shoulder. When the inevitable time comes, you may not be able to talk to your loved ones via Ma Bell, but that doesn't mean the lines of communication are totally down. Here are just some of the ways you can reach out and touch someone on the other side.

Atmosphere, smatmosphere
It's the witching hour. A black cloth covers your kitchen table, the candles are casting an eerie glow and at any moment you just know something's going to go bump in the night. On second thought, maybe this wasn't such a good idea...... A lot of people think they have to set this bizarre mood," says Toronto-based clairvoyant Deborah Levin. "But it doesn't need to be creepy. You don't need black candles and darkness." Setting a scary scene may put you in the mood to connect with the dead, but, she says, it may
be the wrong mood because you're usually tired, you're building it up and freaking yourself out. "It's like having a wild party and leaving the door open - anyone can wander in," explains Deborah. "Connecting will work fine in the daytime when you're calm and in a good mood."

Be open
Unlike the little boy in the movie The Sixth Sense, you probably won't see any ghosties lurking under your bed or hear voices from beyond the grave in the middle of the night. For the average person, connecting with a spirit is usually more subtle, says Deborah. "We all have natural psychic ability but it's not all in the same area," she explains. Rather than see or hear a spirit, you're more likely to feel them. "That's very often how people connect with the dead. They're just sitting around thinking about the person or animal friend and they get overwhelmed with feelings or a sense of what they should do, like somebody's trying to give them a message. Listen to your heart, stay relaxed and open, and just receive the message."

Dream
You fall into a deep sleep and dream with vivid clarity about your Great-aunt Lucy who just recently died. Is it a regular dream or something more? You may be surprised. "Many people communicate with a loved one through dreams," says Deborah. "It happens a lot right after someone passes away." Many experts believe that's because sleep opens the door to an alternate reality, creating a realm where the dead can communicate with dreamers. While you can't deliberately induce a dream starring a newly passed-on person, you should take note of your dreams in a journal. Get yourself a book on dream interpretations, then keep a pen and notepad next to your bed. As soon as you wake up, right down everything you remember about your dream, from the theme, to symbols - even colors. If a spirit has a message for you, deciphering it will be a lot easier if you can refer back to your notes.

Electronic Voice Phenomena (EVP)
Simply put, you record spirit-created sounds on a store-bought cassette. You'll need a new cassette so you won't make the mistake of confusing previously taped voices for spirit sounds. First, you'll want to record in a place that's deathly quiet. (Sorry, just couldn't resist.) Then position an external microphone at least three feet away from the recorder. Avoid using handheld recorders with a built-in mike - they pick up the sounds of the recorder's gears and motor.
Using a notepad, record any external noises. Turn on the tape recorder and say your name and your exact location, along with the date and time. Leave the tape recorder running for at least 30 minutes.

At this stage you have two options: You can leave the area or stay and ask questions out loud. Remember to pause between questions for answers that may show up later on the tape. Or don't bother to ask any questions and listen later to what happens.

When you listen to the tape, preferably with headphones, don't expect clear, coherent language. Often there's only a second or two of electronic voice phenomena. Decipher is the operative word here.

Turn on the channel
"People get all freaked out about a Ouija board," says Deborah, "but it's the same thing as automatic writing." Known as channelling, this type of contact uses an object or person (or in the case of automatic writing, a hand) as a conduit for communication between the living and the dead. For example, with automatic writing, channeling occurs when something is recorded on paper, but the person's hand has no control over what's being recorded. The technique can also work with drawing, painting and music. While it's kind of cool (in theory, anyway) to imagine your hand having a mind of its own, channeling is definitely not for everyone. The problem, says Deborah, is because automatic writing and the Ouija board are basically open calls to the spirit world. You may be trying to contact your mom, but instead may attract a mischievous spirit. "If you're very sensitive and have very strong intuitive ability, but you're not completely confidant or comfortable, or you still get a little bothered by the supernatural, it's probably not for you," says Deborah. "You have to be really grounded to channel, but you also have to be very confident and secure because you're completely open, a vessel."

Still interested? Find a comfortable place to relax and do some deep breathing exercises. "You're grounding but you're totally getting spaced out at the same time," explains Deborah. It may help to have a memento of the deceased nearby. When you feel ready or connected to a spirit, try posing some questions. Will it work? Maybe, but don't be surprised if, like one MW staffer, you find your hand writing down thoughts that pop into your head. "It was more like I was connecting with my subconscious than with a separate entity," she says.

If you're skeptical about the powers of connecting to the afterlife, consider 19th-century essayist and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson. He believed the mind transcends empiricism and that we are capable of knowing more than the boundaries offered by our experiences. Taking Emerson one step further, like most things in life - and likewise in dealing with the afterlife - if you don't believe in what you're doing, you'll never seethe light.